yet another timeshare presentation, hawaii edition part 2

yesterday, i started talking about my latest timeshare presentation adventure. due to the length, i had separated out the experience into two different parts:

• part one: how to get the time share presentation
• part two: what happens in the actual timeshare presentation

i think that getting the actual timeshare presentation is light-hearted and fun. the guy signing you up for the presentation wants to keep you motivated to go to the actual presentation. but once you get there, especially if you've made up your mind in advance that you don't want to buy one, they're not quite as nice. and so after three different presentations, i've realized that what makes this process easier is the fact that i've dealt with narcissistic and anti-social personalities via work. if i pretend that i'm at work, then these presentations are quite easy.

so when you arrive, you have a nice fancy entrance area, with pictures telling you how much of a paradise the hilton is (and to be fair, it is a lovely property). the reception desk is full of smiling people, unless they aren't. in which case, you get a nice empty picture, as per below.

1) they checked me in i waited for the salesman. he was 4 minutes late for me today, but the clock started ticking at my scheduled appointment time. it is important to remind them that they were late, so as to give you more leverage for when you turn them down later. "i have to admit that i lost confidence in things when you showed up late," is something i said near the end. i also looked for anything to use in order to gain more leverage. for instance, as he walked by the washrooms, he tapped the female door  and said "and if you need the washrooms, they are here." he could have pointed to the male one.

2) he tried to be friendly with me. i suspect that he probably googled vancouver before our appointment (hence the 4 minutes), and tell you how much they love it there. but then that's where i interrupt the to make it clear: "so letting you know, i'm actually here for the gift cards only, and that i'm pretty skeptical about all of this. i'm probably not going to buy, but i'm open to hearing your presentation." i think it's only fair to let them know in advance so that they don't waste their time. however, if they choose to continue their hard sales pitch after that, then that's no longer my issue. i should have been more careful with how much hope i gave him, though. i think they're trained to grasp onto the smallest bit of ambivalence, and in a motivational-interviewing kind of way, they try to ramp you up through the stages of change.

3) he gathered my information, he gathered my typical vacation preferences. he gave me a survey about how important certain factors are in your life, and it will be clear that he hasn't read it himself because he will ask you about every single point. "why is happiness important to you? who do you meet while you are on vacation?" but i am curt with the replies: "because it is. and i meet people here." really, i wanted to tell him: "none of your business." 

he berated my current hotel that i'm paying 50$ for (thanks to expedia's best price guarantee), tells me that the cost of my hotel 10 years from now will be roughly 500$ a night (uh, i'm not one to stay at 500$ hotels ... or even 250$ hotels no matter how nice they are). he tells you that you can own your vacation property and vacation points, and that you can use those points at any of their properties, and that points will never experience the ill effects of inflation. he cannot explain how come those vacation points don't devalue over time, yet their prized hhonors points do.

4) he made me watch a 15-minute video, which, i will admit, reduced my level of certainty from 99% to 95%.

5) he insisted on going for a tour and a walk-through of the property. he sensed that i wasn't really interested, and so he took the opportunity to jab me a few times: "i know this is above your affordability," he said at least a few times. during this portion, he kept on confusing my profession multiple times (psychologist vs. psychiatrist). i corrected him many times. but i was thankful because i was able to use this in the end: "it was really weird that you kept calling me a psychologist," i told him. "i felt that you weren't really listening to me and paying attention to what i was looking for. how  can i trust that this timeshare really fits my needs if you don't even listen to me?"

6) he took me back to the office and gave me the numbers re: points and how the program works. he will tell me the cost of ownership vs. how much money i'm throwing into the trash by renting. at this point, i innocently looked at the phone, which he was intensely aware of: "you have somewhere to go?" he asks me in a confrontational matter. "no," i replied. "i'm just seeing what the time is." but he knew he was wasting his breath, and so he didn't even bother telling me about the full cost of ownership.

(in previous timeshare sessions with the "new" upscale property groups, it turns out to be a $25-50k upfront fee to buy a "deed" for which you keep. it's associated with an annual maintenance fee that will go into perpetuity until you sell it back to the company for a fraction of your initial $25-50k investment. the annual maintenance fee is just slightly less than what you would pay for a normal, affordable, decent hotel for the same amount of time. admittedly, the rooms are much nicer than normal hotel rooms, and so if you insist on luxurious rooms, maybe it is worth it after all. maintenance fees are subject to inflation).

7) he terminated when it was clear that i wasn't going to buy. he told me that i was clearly a money waster, that this is a bad decision, but that's okay because "look like that type" anyway. he will threaten you, saying that you may never be offered another chance to tour again, and that these free gifts will disappear. when i pointed out how he wasn't listening to even basic things (e.g., where my hotel was, what i did for a living, how he wasted my time with the survey), he pulled out his book of recent sales. he showed me one from yesterday with a hand-written testimonial about how wonderful he was. he told me that because he was very consistent with his sales pitch, that the problem was clearly with me. 

it should be noted that when you sign up, you can have the option of using your passport as ID, which does not contain your address. you can use your parents' address, you can use your work phone number, and in that sense, it is hard to be refused for future sales pitches.

8) you always get your gift. how it is presented to you varies. in my case, he kind of tossed it in front of me, and i just let it plop onto the desk while keeping full eye contact. and just like that, i was dismissed, gift in hand.

9) they pretended to forget to give me a taxi voucher. but since their front desk is right beside the holding room for eager people waiting to hear the sales pitch, all i had to do was ask: "oh, hey, i just finished my tour, and i was promised a taxi voucher back. could i get a voucher back, please?" they quickly issued one for me.

10) in and out time: 90 minutes, but only because the salesman insisted on dragging it out. 

my friend told me that timeshare presentations are a little bit soul-destroying. but i think i came out in the end with minimal rage and $150 richer (+free swag as pictured below). i'm looking now for the next one!